what if lance and oliver had to adopt a kid bc lances parents force them to and they go to the adoption center right and lances parents are like “ok find one” and lance just looks at oliver like “dont worry i got this” and he just puts the kids in different parts of the room with different kind of items and then he comes back and goes “ok whoever survives is the child we take” and oliver just fucking stops him like “lance this isnt the fucking hunger games you are not putting these kids to war” and lance is like “how the fuck do we find a kid then” and oliver is like “oh my god you should not be allowed near children at ALL” and with that lances parents decide to just leave and not let them adopt a kid ever bc their son is clearly unable to be remotely normal enough to raise a child

but in the event that oliver does not manage to stop lance the kids fight it out and the winner is announced via lance picking them up and presenting them like simba while the “dead” kids bow their heads in fucking shame but also bc they are in the presence of a true victor and better damn fuckin RESPECT

so basically dont let this couple have kids

bc im pretty sure lance would hear about the kid getting bullied or smth and he’d just put his hands on the kid’s shoulders and be like “destroy all those in your way. bathe in the blood of your enemies. feast upon their flesh. make sure they never survive the winter that is the winters family" or like "hey i know im supposed to be uptight about the governmental laws since i work for the government but you turn eighteen tomorrow so if you need to murder anyone do it now i’ll help you avoid any and all punishment"